Chapter 43

           WhyshouldIpausetoaskhowmuchofmyshrinkingfromProvismightbetracedtoEstella?WhyshouldIloiteronmyroad,tocomparethestateofmindinwhichIhadtriedtoridmyselfofthestainoftheprisonbeforemeetingheratthecoach-office,withthestateofmindinwhichInowreflectedontheabyssbetweenEstellainherprideandbeauty,andthereturnedtransportwhomIharbored?Theroadwouldbenonethesmootherforit,theendwouldbenonethebetterforit,hewouldnotbehelped,norIextenuated.

           Anewfearhadbeenengenderedinmymindbyhisnarrative;orrather,hisnarrativehadgivenformandpurposetothefearthatwasalreadythere.IfCompeysonwerealiveandshoulddiscoverhisreturn,Icouldhardlydoubttheconsequence.That,Compeysonstoodinmortalfearofhim,neitherofthetwocouldknowmuchbetterthanI;andthatanysuchmanasthatmanhadbeendescribedtobewouldhesitatetoreleasehimselfforgoodfromadreadedenemybythesafemeansofbecominganinformerwasscarcelytobeimagined.

           NeverhadIbreathed,andneverwouldIbreatheorsoIresolvedawordofEstellatoProvis.But,IsaidtoHerbertthat,beforeIcouldgoabroad,ImustseebothEstellaandMissHavisham.ThiswaswhenwewereleftaloneonthenightofthedaywhenProvistoldushisstory.IresolvedtogoouttoRichmondnextday,andIwent.

           OnmypresentingmyselfatMrs.Brandley’s,Estella’smaidwascalledtotellthatEstellahadgoneintothecountry.

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