Великі очікування

Chapter 38

           For,IcannotadequatelyexpresswhatpainitgavemetothinkthatEstellashouldshowanyfavortoacontemptible,clumsy,sulkybooby,soveryfarbelowtheaverage.Tothepresentmoment,Ibelieveittohavebeenreferabletosomepurefireofgenerosityanddisinterestednessinmyloveforher,thatIcouldnotendurethethoughtofherstoopingtothathound.NodoubtIshouldhavebeenmiserablewhomsoevershehadfavored;butaworthierobjectwouldhavecausedmeadifferentkindanddegreeofdistress.

           Itwaseasyformetofindout,andIdidsoonfindout,thatDrummlehadbeguntofollowherclosely,andthatsheallowedhimtodoit.Alittlewhile,andhewasalwaysinpursuitofher,andheandIcrossedoneanothereveryday.Heheldon,inadullpersistentway,andEstellaheldhimon;nowwithencouragement,nowwithdiscouragement,nowalmostflatteringhim,nowopenlydespisinghim,nowknowinghimverywell,nowscarcelyrememberingwhohewas.

           TheSpider,asMr.Jaggershadcalledhim,wasusedtolyinginwait,however,andhadthepatienceofhistribe.Addedtothat,hehadablockheadconfidenceinhismoneyandinhisfamilygreatness,whichsometimesdidhimgoodservicealmosttakingtheplaceofconcentrationanddeterminedpurpose.So,theSpider,doggedlywatchingEstella,outwatchedmanybrighterinsects,andwouldoftenuncoilhimselfanddropattherightnickoftime.

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