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Chapter 11

           Shethoughtofhiswordsinthelettershehadjustread:"Notthis!Neverthis!"andtheyseemedtocryofatormentedsoulfacingsomethinghecouldnotface,yetmustface.Itpuzzledherfor,ifhewasnotafraidofwoundsanddeath,whatwasithefeared?Unanalytical,shestruggledwiththecomplexthought.

           "Thewardisturbshimandhe—hedoesn’tlikethingsthatdisturbhim....Me,forinstance....Helovedmebuthewasafraidtomarrymebecause—forfearI’dupsethiswayofthinkingandliving.No,itwasn’texactlythathewasafraid.Ashleyisn’tacoward.Hecouldn’tbewhenhe’sbeenmentionedindispatchesandwhenColonelSloanwrotethatlettertoMellyallabouthisgallantconductinleadingthecharge.Oncehe’smadeuphismindtodosomething,noonecouldbebraverormoredeterminedbut—Helivesinsidehisheadinsteadofoutsideintheworldandhehatestocomeoutintotheworldand—Oh,Idon’tknowwhatitis!IfI’djustunderstoodthisonethingabouthimyearsago,Iknowhe’dhavemarriedme."

           Shestoodforamomentholdingtheletterstoherbreast,thinkinglonginglyofAshley.Heremotionstowardhimhadnotchangedsincethedaywhenshefirstfellinlovewithhim.TheywerethesameemotionsthatstruckherspeechlessthatdaywhenshewasfourteenyearsoldandshehadstoodontheporchofTaraandseenAshleyrideupsmiling,hishairshiningsilverinthemorningsun.

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Roboto Lora
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