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Chapter 11

           AndthatiswhyI’mherewhohavenoloveofdeathormiseryorgloryandnohatredforanyone.Perhapsthatiswhatiscalledpatriotism,loveofhomeandcountry.ButMelanie,itgoesdeeperthanthat.For,Melanie,thesethingsIhavenamedarebutthesymbolsofthethingforwhichIriskmylife,symbolsofthekindoflifeIlove.ForIamfightingfortheolddays,theoldwaysIlovesomuchbutwhich,Ifear,arenowgoneforever,nomatterhowthediemayfall.For,winorlose,welosejustthesame.

           "IfwewinthiswarandhavetheCottonKingdomofourdreams,westillhavelost,forwewillbecomeadifferentpeopleandtheoldquietwayswillgo.Theworldwillbeatourdoorsclamoringforcottonandwecancommandourownprice.Then,Ifear,wewillbecomeliketheYankees,atwhosemoney-makingactivities,acquisitivenessandcommercialismwenowsneer.Andifwelose,Melanie,ifwelose!

           "Iamnotafraidofdangerorcaptureorwoundsorevendeath,ifdeathmustcome,butIdofearthatoncethiswarisover,wewillnevergetbacktotheoldtimes.AndIbelonginthoseoldtimes.IdonotbelonginthismadpresentofkillingandIfearIwillnotfitintoanyfuture,trythoughImay.Norwillyou,mydear,foryouandIareofthesameblood.Idonotknowwhatthefuturewillbring,butitcannotbeasbeautifulorassatisfyingasthepast.

           "IlieandlookattheboyssleepingnearmeandIwonderifthetwinsorAlexorCadethinkthesesamethoughts.

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