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Chapter 53

           SomehowthebrightbeautyhadgonefromtheAprilafternoonandfromherheartaswellandthesadsweetnessofrememberingwasasbitterasgall.

           "Ishouldn’thavelethimmakemelookback,"shethoughtdespairingly."IwasrightwhenIsaidI’dneverlookback.Ithurtstoomuch,itdragsatyourhearttillyoucan’teverdoanythingelseexceptlookback.That’swhat’swrongwithAshley.Hecan’tlookforwardanymore.Hecan’tseethepresent,hefearsthefuture,andsohelooksback.Ineverunderstooditbefore.IneverunderstoodAshleybefore.Oh,Ashley,mydarling,youshouldn’tlookback!Whatgoodwillitdo?Ishouldn’thaveletyoutemptmeintotalkingoftheolddays.Thisiswhathappenswhenyoulookbacktohappiness,thispain,thisheartbreak,thisdiscontent."

           Sherosetoherfeet,herhandstillinhis.Shemustgo.Shecouldnotstayandthinkoftheolddaysandseehisface,tiredandsadandbleakasitnowwas.

           "We’vecomealongwaysincethosedays,Ashley,"shesaid,tryingtosteadyhervoice,tryingtofighttheconstrictioninherthroat."Wehadfinenotionsthen,didn’twe?"Andthen,witharush,"Oh,Ashley,nothinghasturnedoutasweexpected!"

           "Itneverdoes,"hesaid."Life’sundernoobligationtogiveuswhatweexpect.Wetakewhatwegetandarethankfulit’snoworsethanitis."

           Herheartwassuddenlydullwithpain,withweariness,asshethoughtofthelongroadshehadcomesincethosedays.

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