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Chapter 43

           Foramomenthermindwentswiftlydowntheyearsandshesawhermother,movingwithasweetswishofskirtsandafaintfragranceofsachet,hersmallbusyhandstirelessintheserviceofothers,loved,respected,cherished.Andsuddenlyherheartwassick.

           "Ifyouaretryingtodevilme,"shesaidtiredly,"it’snouse.IknowI’mnotasscrupulousasIshouldbethesedays.NotaskindandaspleasantasIwasbroughtuptobe.ButIcan’thelpit,Rhett.Truly,Ican’t.WhatelsecouldIhavedone?Whatwouldhavehappenedtome,toWade,toTaraandallofusifI’dbeengentlewhenthatYankeecametoTara?IshouldhavebeenbutIdon’tevenwanttothinkofthat.AndwhenJonasWilkersonwasgoingtotakethehomeplace,supposeI’dbeenkindandscrupulous?Wherewouldweallbenow?AndifI’dbeensweetandsimplemindedandnotnaggedFrankaboutbaddebtswe’doh,well.MaybeIamarogue,butIwon’tbearogueforever,Rhett.ButduringthesepastyearsandevennowwhatelsecouldIhavedone?HowelsecouldIhaveacted?I’vefeltthatIwastryingtorowaheavilyloadedboatinastorm.I’vehadsomuchtroublejusttryingtokeepafloatthatIcouldn’tbebotheredaboutthingsthatdidn’tmatter,thingsIcouldpartwitheasilyandnotmiss,likegoodmannersandwell,thingslikethat.I’vebeentooafraidmyboatwouldbeswampedandsoI’vedumpedoverboardthethingsthatseemedleastimportant."

           "Prideandhonorandtruthandvirtueandkindliness,"heenumeratedsilkily.

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