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Chapter 39

           EveninhersorrowatGerald’sdeath,shedidnotforgettheappearanceshewasmakingandshelookeddownatherbodywithdistaste.Herfigurewascompletelygoneandherfaceandankleswerepuffy.HeretoforeshehadnotcaredverymuchhowshelookedbutnowthatshewouldseeAshleywithinthehourshecaredgreatly.Eveninherheartbreak,sheshrankfromthethoughtoffacinghimwhenshewascarryinganotherman’schild.Shelovedhimandhelovedher,andthisunwantedchildnowseemedtoheraproofofinfidelitytothatlove.Butmuchasshedislikedhavinghimseeherwiththeslendernessgonefromherwaistandthelightnessfromherstep,itwassomethingshecouldnotescapenow.

           Shepattedherfootimpatiently.Willshouldhavemether.Ofcourse,shecouldgoovertoBullard’sandinquireafterhimorasksomeonetheretodriveherovertoTara,shouldshefindhehadbeenunabletocome.ButshedidnotwanttogotoBullard’s.ItwasSaturdaynightandprobablyhalfthemenoftheCountywouldbethere.Shedidnotwanttodisplayherconditioninthispoorlyfittingblackdresswhichaccentuatedratherthanhidherfigure.AndshedidnotwanttohearthekindlysympathythatwouldbepouredoutaboutGerald.Shedidnotwantsympathy.Shewasafraidshewouldcryifanyoneevenmentionedhisnametoher.Andshewouldn’tcry.

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