Chapter XIII

           

           Idaresayitwouldhavebeenmoreseemlytodeclinethisproposal.IthinkperhapsIshouldhavemadeashowoftheindignationIreallyfelt,andIamsurethatColonelMacAndrewatleastwouldhavethoughtwellofmeifIhadbeenabletoreportmystoutrefusaltositatthesametablewithamanofsuchcharacter.Butthefearofnotbeingabletocarryitthrougheffectivelyhasalwaysmademeshyofassumingthemoralattitude;andinthiscasethecertaintythatmysentimentswouldbelostonStricklandmadeitpeculiarlyembarrassingtoutterthem.Onlythepoetorthesaintcanwateranasphaltpavementintheconfidentanticipationthatlilieswillrewardhislabour.

           Ipaidforwhatwehaddrunk,andwemadeourwaytoacheaprestaurant,crowdedandgay,wherewedinedwithpleasure.Ihadtheappetiteofyouthandheofahardenedconscience.Thenwewenttoataverntohavecoffeeandliqueurs.

           IhadsaidallIhadtosayonthesubjectthathadbroughtmetoParis,andthoughIfeltitinamannertreacheroustoMrs.Stricklandnottopursueit,Icouldnotstruggleagainsthisindifference.Itrequiresthefemininetemperamenttorepeatthesamethingthreetimeswithunabatedzest.IsolacedmyselfbythinkingthatitwouldbeusefulformetofindoutwhatIcouldaboutStrickland’sstateofmind.Italsointerestedmemuchmore.Butthiswasnotaneasythingtodo,forStricklandwasnotafluenttalker.

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