Місяць і гріш

Chapter XLI

           Theworldwenton,andnoonewasapennytheworseforallthatwretchedness.IhadanideathatDirk,amanofgreateremotionalreactionsthandepthoffeeling,wouldsoonforget;andBlanche’slife,begunwithwhoknowswhatbrighthopesandwhatdreams,mightjustaswellhaveneverbeenlived.Itallseemeduselessandinane.

           Stricklandhadfoundhishat,andstoodlookingatme.

           "Areyoucoming?"

           "Whydoyouseekmyacquaintance?"Iaskedhim."YouknowthatIhateanddespiseyou."

           Hechuckledgood-humouredly.

           "YouronlyquarrelwithmereallyisthatIdon’tcareatwopennydamnwhatyouthinkaboutme."

           Ifeltmycheeksgrowredwithsuddenanger.Itwasimpossibletomakehimunderstandthatonemightbeoutragedbyhiscallousselfishness.Ilongedtopiercehisarmourofcompleteindifference.Iknewalsothatintheendtherewastruthinwhathesaid.Unconsciously,perhaps,wetreasurethepowerwehaveoverpeoplebytheirregardforouropinionofthem,andwehatethoseuponwhomwehavenosuchinfluence.Isupposeitisthebitterestwoundtohumanpride.ButIwouldnotlethimseethatIwasputout.

           "Isitpossibleforanymantodisregardothersentirely?"Isaid,thoughmoretomyselfthantohim."You’redependentonothersforeverythinginexistence.It’sapreposterousattempttotrytoliveonlyforyourselfandbyyourself.Soonerorlateryou’llbeillandtiredandold,andthenyou’llcrawlbackintotheherd.Won’tyoubeashamedwhenyoufeelinyourheartthedesireforcomfortandsympathy?You’retryinganimpossiblething

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