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Mr. Micawber’s Gauntlet

           MicawberandIcouldhavebeencomradesinthebattleoftheworld.

           ‘Ahem!’saidMr.Micawber,clearinghisthroat,andwarmingwiththepunchandwiththefire.‘Mydear,anotherglass?’

           Mrs.Micawbersaiditmustbeverylittle;butwecouldn’tallowthat,soitwasaglassful.

           ‘Aswearequiteconfidentialhere,Mr.Copperfield,’saidMrs.Micawber,sippingherpunch,‘Mr.Traddlesbeingapartofourdomesticity,IshouldmuchliketohaveyouropiniononMr.Micawber’sprospects.Forcorn,’saidMrs.Micawberargumentatively,‘asIhaverepeatedlysaidtoMr.Micawber,maybegentlemanly,butitisnotremunerative.Commissiontotheextentoftwoandninepenceinafortnightcannot,howeverlimitedourideas,beconsideredremunerative.’

           Wewereallagreeduponthat.

           ‘Then,’saidMrs.Micawber,whopridedherselfontakingaclearviewofthings,andkeepingMr.Micawberstraightbyherwoman’swisdom,whenhemightotherwisegoalittlecrooked,‘thenIaskmyselfthisquestion.Ifcornisnottobereliedupon,whatis?Arecoalstobereliedupon?Notatall.Wehaveturnedourattentiontothatexperiment,onthesuggestionofmyfamily,andwefinditfallacious.’

           Mr.Micawber,leaningbackinhischairwithhishandsinhispockets,eyedusaside,andnoddedhishead,asmuchastosaythatthecasewasveryclearlyput.

           ‘Thearticlesofcornandcoals,’saidMrs.

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