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Tommy Traddles

           Hewasaretiredwhatdoyoucallit!drapercloth-merchantandhadmademehisheir.Buthedidn’tlikemewhenIgrewup.’

           ‘Doyoureallymeanthat?’saidI.Hewassocomposed,thatIfanciedhemusthavesomeothermeaning.

           ‘Ohdear,yes,Copperfield!Imeanit,’repliedTraddles.‘Itwasanunfortunatething,buthedidn’tlikemeatall.HesaidIwasn’tatallwhatheexpected,andsohemarriedhishousekeeper.’

           ‘Andwhatdidyoudo?’Iasked.

           ‘Ididn’tdoanythinginparticular,’saidTraddles.‘Ilivedwiththem,waitingtobeputoutintheworld,untilhisgoutunfortunatelyflewtohisstomachandsohedied,andsoshemarriedayoungman,andsoIwasn’tprovidedfor.’

           ‘Didyougetnothing,Traddles,afterall?’

           ‘Ohdear,yes!’saidTraddles.‘Igotfiftypounds.Ihadneverbeenbroughtuptoanyprofession,andatfirstIwasatalosswhattodoformyself.However,Ibegan,withtheassistanceofthesonofaprofessionalman,whohadbeentoSalemHouseYawler,withhisnoseononeside.Doyourecollecthim?’

           No.Hehadnotbeentherewithme;allthenoseswerestraightinmyday.

           ‘Itdon’tmatter,’saidTraddles.‘Ibegan,bymeansofhisassistance,tocopylawwritings.Thatdidn’tanswerverywell;andthenIbegantostatecasesforthem,andmakeabstracts,andthatsortofwork.

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