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I Fall into Captivity

           PerhapsIsawherglovewavedinacarriagewindow;perhapsImether,walkedwithherandMissMurdstonealittleway,andspoketoher.InthelattercaseIwasalwaysverymiserableafterwards,tothinkthatIhadsaidnothingtothepurpose;orthatshehadnoideaoftheextentofmydevotion,orthatshecarednothingaboutme.Iwasalwayslookingout,asmaybesupposed,foranotherinvitationtoMr.Spenlow’shouse.Iwasalwaysbeingdisappointed,forIgotnone.

           Mrs.Cruppmusthavebeenawomanofpenetration;forwhenthisattachmentwasbutafewweeksold,andIhadnothadthecouragetowritemoreexplicitlyeventoAgnes,thanthatIhadbeentoMr.Spenlow’shouse,‘whosefamily,’Iadded,‘consistsofonedaughter’;IsayMrs.Cruppmusthavebeenawomanofpenetration,for,eveninthatearlystage,shefounditout.Shecameuptomeoneevening,whenIwasverylow,toask(shebeingthenafflictedwiththedisorderIhavementioned)ifIcouldobligeherwithalittletinctureofcardamumsmixedwithrhubarb,andflavouredwithsevendropsoftheessenceofcloves,whichwasthebestremedyforhercomplaint;or,ifIhadnotsuchathingbyme,withalittlebrandy,whichwasthenextbest.Itwasnot,sheremarked,sopalatabletoher,butitwasthenextbest.AsIhadneverevenheardofthefirstremedy,andalwayshadthesecondinthecloset,IgaveMrs.Cruppaglassofthesecond,which(thatImighthavenosuspicionofitsbeingdevotedtoanyimproperuse)shebegantotakeinmypresence.

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Roboto Lora
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