Chapter 22

           Thevoyagecametoanend.Welanded,andproceededtoParis.IsoonfoundthatIhadovertaxedmystrengthandthatImustreposebeforeIcouldcontinuemyjourney.Myfather’scareandattentionswereindefatigable,buthedidnotknowtheoriginofmysufferingsandsoughterroneousmethodstoremedytheincurableill.Hewishedmetoseekamusementinsociety.Iabhorredthefaceofman.Oh,notabhorred!Theyweremybrethren,myfellowbeings,andIfeltattractedeventothemostrepulsiveamongthem,astocreaturesofanangelicnatureandcelestialmechanism.ButIfeltthatIhadnorighttosharetheirintercourse.Ihadunchainedanenemyamongthemwhosejoyitwastoshedtheirbloodandtorevelintheirgroans.Howtheywould,eachandall,abhormeandhuntmefromtheworlddidtheyknowmyunhallowedactsandthecrimeswhichhadtheirsourceinme!

           Myfatheryieldedatlengthtomydesiretoavoidsocietyandstrovebyvariousargumentstobanishmydespair.SometimeshethoughtthatIfeltdeeplythedegradationofbeingobligedtoanswerachargeofmurder,andheendeavouredtoprovetomethefutilityofpride.

           "Alas!Myfather,"saidI,"howlittledoyouknowme.Humanbeings,theirfeelingsandpassions,wouldindeedbedegradedifsuchawretchasIfeltpride.Justine,poorunhappyJustine,wasasinnocentasI,andshesufferedthesamecharge;shediedforit;andIamthecauseofthis—Imurderedher.William,Justine,andHenry—theyalldiedbymyhands."

           Myfatherhadoften,duringmyimprisonment,heardmemakethesameassertion;whenIthusaccusedmyself,hesometimesseemedtodesireanexplanation,andatothersheappearedtoconsideritastheoffspringofdelirium,andthat,duringmyillness,someideaofthiskindhadpresenteditselftomyimagination,theremembranceofwhichIpreservedinmyconvalescence.