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Chapter 22

           IavoidedexplanationandmaintainedacontinualsilenceconcerningthewretchIhadcreated.IhadapersuasionthatIshouldbesupposedmad,andthisinitselfwouldforeverhavechainedmytongue.But,besides,Icouldnotbringmyselftodiscloseasecretwhichwouldfillmyhearerwithconsternationandmakefearandunnaturalhorrortheinmatesofhisbreast.Ichecked,therefore,myimpatientthirstforsympathyandwassilentwhenIwouldhavegiventheworldtohaveconfidedthefatalsecret.Yet,still,wordslikethoseIhaverecordedwouldburstuncontrollablyfromme.Icouldoffernoexplanationofthem,buttheirtruthinpartrelievedtheburdenofmymysteriouswoe.Uponthisoccasionmyfathersaid,withanexpressionofunboundedwonder,"MydearestVictor,whatinfatuationisthis?Mydearson,Ientreatyounevertomakesuchanassertionagain."

           "Iamnotmad,"Icriedenergetically;"thesunandtheheavens,whohaveviewedmyoperations,canbearwitnessofmytruth.Iamtheassassinofthosemostinnocentvictims;theydiedbymymachinations.AthousandtimeswouldIhaveshedmyownblood,dropbydrop,tohavesavedtheirlives;butIcouldnot,myfather,indeedIcouldnotsacrificethewholehumanrace."

           Theconclusionofthisspeechconvincedmyfatherthatmyideaswerederanged,andheinstantlychangedthesubjectofourconversationandendeavouredtoalterthecourseofmythoughts.HewishedasmuchaspossibletoobliteratethememoryofthescenesthathadtakenplaceinIrelandandneveralludedtothemorsufferedmetospeakofmymisfortunes.

           AstimepassedawayIbecamemorecalm;miseryhadherdwellinginmyheart,butInolongertalkedinthesameincoherentmannerofmyowncrimes;sufficientformewastheconsciousnessofthem.

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