Chapter 11

           No,shethought,puttingtogethersomeofthepictureshehadcutout—arefrigerator,amowingmachine,agentlemanineveningdress—childrenneverforget.Forthisreason,itwassoimportantwhatonesaid,andwhatonedid,anditwasareliefwhentheywenttobed.Fornowsheneednotthinkaboutanybody.Shecouldbeherself,byherself.Andthatwaswhatnowsheoftenfelttheneedof—tothink;well,noteventothink.Tobesilent;tobealone.Allthebeingandthedoing,expansive,glittering,vocal,evaporated;andoneshrunk,withasenseofsolemnity,tobeingoneself,awedge-shapedcoreofdarkness,somethinginvisibletoothers.Althoughshecontinuedtoknit,andsatupright,itwasthusthatshefeltherself;andthisselfhavingsheditsattachmentswasfreeforthestrangestadventures.Whenlifesankdownforamoment,therangeofexperienceseemedlimitless.Andtoeverybodytherewasalwaysthissenseofunlimitedresources,shesupposed;oneafteranother,she,Lily,AugustusCarmichael,mustfeel,ourapparitions,thethingsyouknowusby,aresimplychildish.Beneathitisalldark,itisallspreading,itisunfathomablydeep;butnowandagainwerisetothesurfaceandthatiswhatyouseeusby.Herhorizonseemedtoherlimitless.Therewerealltheplacesshehadnotseen;theIndianplains;shefeltherselfpushingasidethethickleathercurtainofachurchinRome.Thiscoreofdarknesscouldgoanywhere,fornoonesawit.Theycouldnotstopit,shethought,exulting.