Мартін Іден

Chapter 46

           Beingunafraid,hewasdriftingdeeperintotheshadow. Hefoundnodelightintheoldfamiliarthingsoflife. TheMariposawasnowinthenortheasttrades,andthiswineofwind,surgingagainsthim,irritatedhim. Hehadhischairmovedtoescapetheembraceofthislustycomradeofolddaysandnights. 

           ThedaytheMariposaenteredthedoldrums,Martinwasmoremiserablethanever. Hecouldnolongersleep. Hewassoakedwithsleep,andperforcehemustnowstayawakeandendurethewhiteglareoflife. Hemovedaboutrestlessly. Theairwasstickyandhumid,andtherain-squallswereunrefreshing. Heachedwithlife. Hewalkedaroundthedeckuntilthathurttoomuch,thensatinhischairuntilhewascompelledtowalkagain. Heforcedhimselfatlasttofinishthemagazine,andfromthesteamerlibraryheculledseveralvolumesofpoetry. Buttheycouldnotholdhim,andoncemorehetooktowalking. 

           Hestayedlateondeck,afterdinner,butthatdidnothelphim,forwhenhewentbelow,hecouldnotsleep. Thissurceasefromlifehadfailedhim. Itwastoomuch. Heturnedontheelectriclightandtriedtoread. OneofthevolumeswasaSwinburne. Helayinbed,glancingthroughitspages,untilsuddenlyhebecameawarethathewasreadingwithinterest. Hefinishedthestanza,attemptedtoreadon,thencamebacktoit. Herestedthebookfacedownwardonhisbreastandfelltothinking. Thatwasit. Theverything. Strangethatithadnevercometohimbefore. 

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