Мартін Іден

Chapter 45

           Hewalkedonbesideher,reflecting. "I’dgiveanythingtoseeyougetoverit,"shebrokeoutimpulsively. "Yououghttocarewhenwomenlookatyouthatway,amanlikeyou. It’snotnatural. It’sallrightenoughforsissy-boys. Butyouain’tmadethatway. Sohelpme,I’dbewillingan’gladiftherightwomancamealongan’madeyoucare." 

           WhenheleftLizzieatnightschool,hereturnedtotheMetropole. 

           Onceinhisrooms,hedroppedintoaMorrischairandsatstaringstraightbeforehim. Hedidnotdoze. Nordidhethink. Hismindwasablank,savefortheintervalswhenunsummonedmemorypicturestookformandcolorandradiancejustunderhiseyelids. Hesawthesepictures,buthewasscarcelyconsciousofthemnomoresothaniftheyhadbeendreams. Yethewasnotasleep. Once,herousedhimselfandglancedathiswatch. Itwasjusteighto’clock. Hehadnothingtodo,anditwastooearlyforbed. Thenhismindwentblankagain,andthepicturesbegantoformandvanishunderhiseyelids. Therewasnothingdistinctiveaboutthepictures. Theywerealwaysmassesofleavesandshrub-likebranchesshotthroughwithhotsunshine. 

           Aknockatthedoorarousedhim. Hewasnotasleep,andhismindimmediatelyconnectedtheknockwithatelegram,orletter,orperhapsoneoftheservantsbringingbackcleanclothesfromthelaundry. HewasthinkingaboutJoeandwonderingwherehewas,ashesaid,"Comein." 

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