Преступление и наказание

Chapter 6

           No,suchpeople,itseems,arenotoffleshbutofbronze!”

           Onesuddenirrelevantideaalmostmadehimlaugh.Napoleon,thepyramids,Waterloo,andawretchedskinnyoldwoman,apawnbrokerwitharedtrunkunderherbedit’sanicehashforPorfiryPetrovitchtodigest!Howcantheydigestit!It’stooinartistic.“ANapoleoncreepunderanoldwoman’sbed!Ugh,howloathsome!”

           Atmomentshefelthewasraving.Hesankintoastateoffeverishexcitement.“Theoldwomanisofnoconsequence,”hethought,hotlyandincoherently.“Theoldwomanwasamistakeperhaps,butsheisnotwhatmatters!Theoldwomanwasonlyanillness....Iwasinahurrytooverstep....Ididn’tkillahumanbeing,butaprinciple!Ikilledtheprinciple,butIdidn’toverstep,Istoppedonthisside....Iwasonlycapableofkilling.AnditseemsIwasn’tevencapableofthat...Principle?WhywasthatfoolRazumihinabusingthesocialists?Theyareindustrious,commercialpeople;‘thehappinessofall’istheircase.No,lifeisonlygiventomeonceandIshallneverhaveitagain;Idon’twanttowaitfor‘thehappinessofall.’Iwanttolivemyself,orelsebetternotliveatall.Isimplycouldn’tpassbymymotherstarving,keepingmyroubleinmypocketwhileIwaitedforthe‘happinessofall.’Iamputtingmylittlebrickintothehappinessofallandsomyheartisatpeace.Ha-ha!Whyhaveyouletmeslip?Ionlyliveonce,Itoowant....Ech,Iamanæstheticlouseandnothingmore,”headdedsuddenly,laughinglikeamadman.

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