Преступление и наказание

Chapter 6

           “Yes,Iamcertainlyalouse,”hewenton,clutchingattheidea,gloatingoveritandplayingwithitwithvindictivepleasure.“Inthefirstplace,becauseIcanreasonthatIamone,andsecondly,becauseforamonthpastIhavebeentroublingbenevolentProvidence,callingittowitnessthatnotformyownfleshlylustsdidIundertakeit,butwithagrandandnobleobjectha-ha!Thirdly,becauseIaimedatcarryingitoutasjustlyaspossible,weighing,measuringandcalculating.OfalltheliceIpickedoutthemostuselessoneandproposedtotakefromheronlyasmuchasIneededforthefirststep,nomorenorless(sotherestwouldhavegonetoamonastery,accordingtoherwill,ha-ha!).AndwhatshowsthatIamutterlyalouse,”headded,grindinghisteeth,“isthatIamperhapsvilerandmoreloathsomethanthelouseIkilled,andIfeltbeforehandthatIshouldtellmyselfsoafterkillingher.Cananythingbecomparedwiththehorrorofthat?Thevulgarity!Theabjectness!Iunderstandthe‘prophet’withhissabre,onhissteed:Allahcommandsand‘trembling’creationmustobey!The‘prophet’isright,heisrightwhenhesetsabatteryacrossthestreetandblowsuptheinnocentandtheguiltywithoutdeigningtoexplain!It’sforyoutoobey,tremblingcreation,andnottohavedesires,forthat’snotforyou!...Ishallnever,neverforgivetheoldwoman!”

           Hishairwassoakedwithsweat,hisquiveringlipswereparched,hiseyeswerefixedontheceiling.

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