Преступление и наказание

Chapter 2

           AndshewasleftathisdeathwiththreechildreninawildandremotedistrictwhereIhappenedtobeatthetime;andshewasleftinsuchhopelesspovertythat,althoughIhaveseenmanyupsanddownsofallsort,Idon’tfeelequaltodescribingiteven.Herrelationshadallthrownheroff.Andshewasproud,too,excessivelyproud....Andthen,honouredsir,andthen,I,beingatthetimeawidower,withadaughteroffourteenleftmebymyfirstwife,offeredhermyhand,forIcouldnotbearthesightofsuchsuffering.Youcanjudgetheextremityofhercalamities,thatshe,awomanofeducationandcultureanddistinguishedfamily,shouldhaveconsentedtobemywife.Butshedid!Weepingandsobbingandwringingherhands,shemarriedme!Forshehadnowheretoturn!Doyouunderstand,sir,doyouunderstandwhatitmeanswhenyouhaveabsolutelynowheretoturn?No,thatyoudon’tunderstandyet....Andforawholeyear,Iperformedmydutiesconscientiouslyandfaithfully,anddidnottouchthis”(hetappedthejugwithhisfinger),“forIhavefeelings.Butevenso,Icouldnotpleaseher;andthenIlostmyplacetoo,andthatthroughnofaultofminebutthroughchangesintheoffice;andthenIdidtouchit!...Itwillbeayearandahalfagosoonsincewefoundourselvesatlastaftermanywanderingsandnumerouscalamitiesinthismagnificentcapital,adornedwithinnumerablemonuments.HereIobtainedasituation....IobtaineditandIlostitagain.

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