Финансист

Chapter LV

           Itwassosoothingatthesametimethatitwasunmanning,asnowhecouldsee,makingofhimachildagain.Andforthefirsttimeinhislife,someinexplicabletrickofchemistrythatchemistryofthebody,ofblindforceswhichsoreadilysupersedesreasonattimeshelosthisself-control.ThedepthofAileen’sfeelings,thecooingsoundofhervoice,thevelvetytendernessofherhands,thatbeautythathaddrawnhimallthetimemoreradianthereperhapswithinthesehardwalls,andinthefaceofhisphysicalmisery,thanithadeverbeenbeforecompletelyunmannedhim.Hedidnotunderstandhowitcould;hetriedtodefythemoods,buthecouldnot.Whensheheldhisheadcloseandcaressedit,ofasudden,inspiteofhimself,hisbreastfeltthickandstuffy,andhisthroathurthim.Hefelt,forhim,anastonishinglystrangefeeling,adesiretocry,whichhedidhisbesttoovercome;itshockedhimso.Therethencombinedandconspiredtodefeathimastrange,richpictureofthegreatworldhehadsorecentlylost,ofthelovely,magnificentworldwhichhehopedsomedaytoregain.Hefeltmorepoignantlyatthismomentthaneverhehadbeforethedegradationoftheclogshoes,thecottonshirt,thestripedsuit,thereputationofaconvict,permanentandnottobelaidaside.Hedrewhimselfquicklyawayfromher,turnedhisback,clinchedhishands,drewhismusclestaut;butitwastoolate.Hewascrying,andhecouldnotstop.

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