Финансист

Chapter XXX

           Whensomecrude,suggestivefact,suchasthisletterprovedtobe,suddenlymanifestsitselfintheplacidflowofevents,thereisgreatagonyordisturbanceandcloggingoftheso-callednormalprocesses.Thesiphondoesnotworkright.Itsucksinfearanddistress.Thereisgreatgrindingofmaladjustedpartsnotunlikesandinamachineandlife,asissooftenthecase,ceasesorgoeslamelyeverafter.

           Mrs.Cowperwoodwaspossessedofaconventionalmind.Shereallyknewnothingaboutlife.Andlifecouldnotteachher.Reactioninherfromsaltythought-processeswasnotpossible.ShewasnotaliveinthesensethatAileenButlerwas,andyetshethoughtthatshewasverymuchalive.Allillusion.Shewasn’t.Shewascharmingifyoulovedplacidity.Ifyoudidnot,shewasnot.Shewasnotengaging,brilliant,orforceful.FrankCowperwoodmightwellhaveaskedhimselfinthebeginningwhyhemarriedher.Hedidnotdosonowbecausehedidnotbelieveitwaswisetoquestionthepastastoone’sfailuresanderrors.Itwas,accordingtohim,mostunwisetoregret.Hekepthisfaceandthoughtstothefuture.

           ButMrs.Cowperwoodwastrulydistressedinherway,andshewentaboutthehousethinking,feelingwretchedly.Shedecided,sincetheletteraskedhertoseeforherself,towait.Shemustthinkhowshewouldwatchthishouse,ifatall.Frankmustnotknow.IfitwereAileenButlerbyanychancebutsurelynotshethoughtshewouldexposehertoherparents.Still,thatmeantexposingherself.

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