Красное и черное

To Think Is To Be Full of Sorrow

           LittlebylittleStanislasgotoutofdanger.Buttheicewasbroken.Herreasonhadrealisedtheextentofhersin.Shecouldnotrecoverherequilibriumagain.Herpangsofremorseremained,andwerewhattheyoughttohavebeeninsosincereaheart.Herlifewasheavenandhell:hellwhenshedidnotseeJulien;heavenwhenshewasathisfeet.

           "Idonotdeceivemyselfanymore,"shewouldsaytohim,evenduringthemomentswhenshedaredtosurrenderherselftohisfulllove."Iamdamned,irrevocablydamned.Youareyoung,heavenmayforgiveyou,butI,Iamdamned.Iknowitbyacertainsign.Iamafraid,whowouldnotbeafraidatthesightofhell?butatthebottomofmyheartIdonotrepentatall.IwouldcommitmysinoveragainifIhadtheopportunity.Ifheavenwillonlyforbeartopunishmeinthisworldandthroughmychildren,IshallhavemorethanIdeserve.Butyou,atanyrate,myJulien,"shewouldcryatothermoments,"areyouhappy?DoyouthinkIloveyouenough?"

           ThesuspiciousnessandmorbidprideofJulien,whoneeded,aboveall,aself-sacrificinglove,altogethervanishedwhenhesawateveryhourofthedaysogreatandindisputableasacrifice.HeadoredMadamedeRênal."Itmakesnodifferenceherbeingnoble,andmybeingalabourer’sson.Shelovesme....shedoesnotregardmeasavaletchargedwiththefunctionsofalover."Thatfearoncedismissed,Julienfellintoallthemadnessoflove,intoallitsdeadlyuncertainties.

           "Atanyrate,"shewouldcry,seeinghisdoubtsofherlove,"letmefeelquitehappyduringthethreedayswestillhavetogether.

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Roboto Lora
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