First Appearance in Society

           

           Ludicrousandpatheticmemory:thefirstdrawing-roomwhereoneappearedaloneandwithoutsupportattheageofeighteen!thelookofawomansufficedtointimidateme.ThemoreIwishedtopleasethemoreclumsyIbecame.Ievolvedthemostunfoundedideasabouteverything.Iwouldeitherabandonmyselfwithoutanyreason,orIwouldregardamanasanenemysimplybecausehehadlookedatmewithaseriousair;butallthesame,inthemiddleoftheunhappinessofmytimidity,howbeautifuldidIfindabeautifuldayKant.

           Julienstoppedinamazementinthemiddleofthecourtyard."Pullyourselftogether,"saidtheabbéPirard."Yougethorribleideasintoyourhead,besidesyouareonlyachild.WhathashappenedtothenilmirariofHorace(noenthusiasm)rememberthatwhentheyseeyouestablishedherethiscrowdoflackeyswillmakefunofyou.Theywillseeinyouanequalwhohasbeenunjustlyplacedabovethem;and,underamasqueradeofgoodadviceandadesiretohelpyou,theywilltrytomakeyoufallintosomegrossblunder."

           "Letthemdotheirworst,"saidJulienbitinghislip,andhebecameasdistrustfulasever.

           Thesalonsonthefirststoreywhichourgentlemenwentthroughbeforereachingthemarquis’study,wouldhaveseemedtoyou,myreader,asgloomyastheyweremagnificent.Iftheyhadbeengiventoyoujustastheywere,youwouldhaverefusedtoliveinthem.Thiswasthedomainofyawningandmelancholyreasoning.TheyredoubledJulien’srapture."Howcananyonebeunhappy?"hethought,"wholivesinsosplendidanabode.

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