Strasbourg

           

           Fascination!Lovegivestheeallhislove,energyandallhispowerofsufferingunhappiness.Itisonlyhisenchantingpleasures,hissweetdelights,whichareoutsidethysphere.WhenIsawhersleepIwasmadetosay"Withallherangelicbeautyandhersweetweaknessessheisabsolutelymine!Theresheis,quiteinmypower,suchasHeavenmadeherinitspityinordertoravishaman’sheart."OdeofSchiller.

           JulienwascompelledtospendeightdaysinStrasbourgandtriedtodistracthimselfbythoughtsofmilitarygloryandpatrioticdevotion.Washeinlovethen?hecouldnottell,heonlyfeltinhistorturedsoulthatMathildewastheabsolutemistressbothofhishappinessandofhisimagination.Heneededalltheenergyofhischaractertokeephimselffromsinkingintodespair.ItwasoutofhispowertothinkofanythingunconnectedwithmademoiselledelaMole.HisambitionandhissimplepersonalsuccesseshadformerlydistractedhimfromthesentimentswhichmadamedeRênalhadinspired.Mathildewasall-absorbing;sheloomedlargeoverhiswholefuture.

           Juliensawfailureineveryphaseofthatfuture.ThissameindividualwhomweremembertohavebeensopresumptuousandhaughtyatVerrières,hadfallenintoanexcessofgrotesquemodesty.

           ThreedaysagohewouldonlyhavebeentoopleasedtohavekilledtheabbéCastanède,andnow,atStrasbourg,ifachildhadpickedaquarrelwithhimhewouldhavethoughtthechildwasintheright.Inthinkingagainabouttheadversariesandenemieswhomhehadmetinhislifehealwaysthoughtthathe,Julien,hadbeeninthewrong.

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