Красное и черное

To Think Is To Be Full of Sorrow

           Whatwouldbecomeofmefarfromyou,andwiththeconsciousnessthatyouareunhappyowingtowhatIhavedone?Butdon’tletmysufferingcomeintothematter.Iwillgoyes,mylove!ButifIleaveyou,dear;ifIceasetowatchoveryou,tobeincessantlybetweenyouandyourhusband,youwilltellhimeverything.Youwillruinyourself.Rememberthathewillhoundyououtofhishouseindisgrace.Besançonwilltalkofthescandal.Youwillbesaidtobeabsolutelyinthewrong.Youwillneverliftupyourheadagainafterthatshame."

           "That’swhatIask,"shecried,standingup."Ishallsuffer,somuchthebetter."

           "Butyouwillalsomakehimunhappythroughthatawfulscandal."

           "ButIshallbehumiliatingmyself,throwingmyselfintothemire,andbythosemeans,perhaps,Ishallsavemyson.Suchahumiliationintheeyesofallisperhapstoberegardedasapublicpenitence.Sofarasmyweakjudgmentgoes,isitnotthegreatestsacrificethatIcanmaketoGod?perhapsHewilldeigntoacceptmyhumiliation,andtoleavememyson.ShowmeanothersacrificewhichismorepainfulandIwillrushtoit."

           "Letmepunishmyself.Itooamguilty.DoyouwishmetoretiretotheTrappistMonastery?TheausterityofthatlifemayappeaseyourGod.Oh,heaven,whycannotItakeStanislas’sillnessuponmyself?"

           "Ah,doyoulovehimthen,"saidMadamedeRênal,gettingupandthrowingherselfinhisarms.

           Atthesametimesherepelledhimwithhorror.

           "Ibelieveyou!Ibelieveyou!Oh,myonefriend,"shecriedfallingonherkneesagain.

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