Красное и черное

To Think Is To Be Full of Sorrow

           deRênalhadgonebacktobed,Juliensawthewomanhelovedwithherheadrestingonherson’slittlebed,motionless,andalmostunconscious."There,"hesaidtohimself,"isawomanofsuperiortemperamentbroughttothedepthsofunhappinesssimplybecauseshehasknownme."

           "Timemovesquickly.WhatcanIdoforher?Imustmakeupmymind.Ihavenotgotsimplymyselftoconsidernow.WhatdoIcareformenandtheirbuffooneries?WhatcanIdoforher?Leaveher?ButIshouldbeleavingheraloneandapreytothemostawfulgrief.Thatautomatonofahusbandismoreharmtoherthangood.Heissocoarsethatheisboundtospeakharshlytoher.Shemaygomadandthrowherselfoutofthewindow."

           "IfIleaveher,ifIceasetowatchoverher,shewillconfesseverything,andwhoknows,inspiteofthelegacywhichsheisboundtobringhim,hewillcreateascandal.Shemayconfesseverything(greatGod)tothatscoundrelofanabbéwhomakestheillnessofachildofsixanexcusefornotbudgingfromthishouse,andnotwithoutapurposeeither.InhergriefandherfearofGod,sheforgetsallsheknowsoftheman;sheonlyseesthepriest."

           "Goaway,"saidMadamedeRênalsuddenlytohim,openinghereyes.

           "Iwouldgivemylifeathousandtimestoknowwhatcouldbeofmostusetoyou,"answeredJulien."Ihaveneverlovedyousomuch,mydearangel,orratheritisonlyfromthislastmomentthatIbegintoadoreyouasyoudeservetobeadored.

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