Мартин Иден

Chapter 46

           Once,hetriedtoarousehimselffromhislethargy,andwentforwardintotheforecastlewiththesailors. Butthebreedofsailorsseemedtohavechangedsincethedayshehadlivedintheforecastle. Hecouldfindnokinshipwiththesestolid-faced,ox-mindedbestialcreatures. Hewasindespair. UpabovenobodyhadwantedMartinEdenforhisownsake,andhecouldnotgobacktothoseofhisownclasswhohadwantedhiminthepast. Hedidnotwantthem. Hecouldnotstandthemanymorethanhecouldstandthestupidfirst-cabinpassengersandtheriotousyoungpeople. 

           Lifewastohimlikestrong,whitelightthathurtsthetiredeyesofasickperson. Duringeveryconsciousmomentlifeblazedinarawglarearoundhimanduponhim. Ithurt. Ithurtintolerably. ItwasthefirsttimeinhislifethatMartinhadtravelledfirstclass. Onshipsatseahehadalwaysbeenintheforecastle,thesteerage,orintheblackdepthsofthecoal-hold,passingcoal. Inthosedays,climbinguptheironladdersoutthepitofstiflingheat,hehadoftencaughtglimpsesofthepassengers,incoolwhite,doingnothingbutenjoythemselves,underawningsspreadtokeepthesunandwindawayfromthem,withsubservientstewardstakingcareoftheireverywantandwhim,andithadseemedtohimthattherealminwhichtheymovedandhadtheirbeingwasnothingelsethanparadise. 

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