Мартин Иден

Chapter 45

           Shewasstungbyhiswordsintorealizationofthepuerilityofheract,andyetshefeltthathehadmagnifieditundulyandwasconsequentlyresentful. Theysatinsilenceforalongtime,shethinkingdesperatelyandheponderinguponhislovewhichhaddeparted. Heknew,now,thathehadnotreallylovedher. ItwasanidealizedRuthhehadloved,anetherealcreatureofhisowncreating,thebrightandluminousspiritofhislove-poems. TherealbourgeoisRuth,withallthebourgeoisfailingsandwiththehopelesscrampofthebourgeoispsychologyinhermind,hehadneverloved. 

           Shesuddenlybegantospeak. 

           "Iknowthatmuchyouhavesaidisso. Ihavebeenafraidoflife. Ididnotloveyouwellenough. Ihavelearnedtolovebetter. Iloveyouforwhatyouare,forwhatyouwere,forthewaysevenbywhichyouhavebecome. Iloveyouforthewayswhereinyoudifferfromwhatyoucallmyclass,foryourbeliefswhichIdonotunderstandbutwhichIknowIcancometounderstand. Ishalldevotemyselftounderstandingthem. AndevenyoursmokingandyourswearingtheyarepartofyouandIwillloveyouforthem,too. Icanstilllearn. InthelasttenminutesIhavelearnedmuch. ThatIhavedaredtocomehereisatokenofwhatIhavealreadylearned. Oh,Martin!" 

           Shewassobbingandnestlingcloseagainsthim. 

           Forthefirsttimehisarmsfoldedhergentlyandwithsympathy,andsheacknowledgeditwithahappymovementandabrighteningface. 

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