Ідіот

Chapter 7

           

           “Iwanttoexplainalltoyoueverythingeverything!IknowyouthinkmeUtopian,don’tyouanidealist?Oh,no!I’mnot,indeedmyideasareallsosimple.Youdon’tbelieveme?Youaresmiling.Doyouknow,IamsometimesverywickedforIlosemyfaith?ThiseveningasIcamehere,Ithoughttomyself,‘WhatshallItalkabout?HowamItobegin,sothattheymaybeabletounderstandpartially,atallevents?’HowafraidIwasdreadfullyafraid!Andyet,howcouldIbeafraidwasitnotshamefulofme?WasIafraidoffindingabottomlessabyssofemptyselfishness?Ah!that’swhyIamsohappyatthismoment,becauseIfindthereisnobottomlessabyssatallbutgood,healthymaterial,fulloflife.

           “Itisnotsuchaverydreadfulcircumstancethatweareoddpeople,isit?Forwereallyareodd,youknowcareless,reckless,easilyweariedofanything.Wedon’tlookthoroughlyintomattersdon’tcaretounderstandthings.WearealllikethisyouandI,andallofthem!Why,hereareyou,nowyouarenotabitangrywithmeforcallingyou‘odd,’areyou?And,ifso,surelythereisgoodmaterialinyou?Doyouknow,Isometimesthinkitisagoodthingtobeodd.Wecanforgiveoneanothermoreeasily,andbemorehumble.Noonecanbeginbybeingperfectthereismuchonecannotunderstandinlifeatfirst.Inordertoattaintoperfection,onemustbeginbyfailingtounderstandmuch.Andifwetakeinknowledgetooquickly,weverylikelyarenottakingitinatall.

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