Ідіот

Chapter 7

           “Yesterday,AglayaIvanovnaforbademetotalk,andevenspecifiedtheparticularsubjectsImustnottouchupon—sheknowswellenoughthatIamoddwhenIgetuponthesematters.Iamnearlytwenty-sevenyearsold,andyetIknowIamlittlebetterthanachild.Ihavenorighttoexpressmyideas,andsaidsolongago.OnlyinMoscow,withRogojin,didIeverspeakabsolutelyfreely!HeandIreadPushkintogether—allhisworks.RogojinknewnothingofPushkin,hadnotevenheardhisname.IamalwaysafraidofspoilingagreatThoughtorIdeabymyabsurdmanner.Ihavenoeloquence,Iknow.Ialwaysmakethewronggestures—inappropriategestures—andthereforeIdegradetheThought,andraisealaughinsteadofdoingmysubjectjustice.Ihavenosenseofproportioneither,andthatisthechiefthing.IknowitwouldbemuchbetterifIwerealwaystositstillandsaynothing.WhenIdoso,Iappeartobequiteasensiblesortofaperson,andwhat’smore,Ithinkaboutthings.ButnowImustspeak;itisbetterthatIshould.Ibegantospeakbecauseyoulookedsokindlyatme;youhavesuchabeautifulface.IpromisedAglayaIvanovnayesterdaythatIwouldnotspeakalltheevening.”

           “Really?”saidtheoldman,smiling.

           “But,attimes,Ican’thelpthinkingthatIamwronginfeelingsoaboutit,youknow.Sincerityismoreimportantthanelocution,isn’tit?”

           “Sometimes.

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