Very Decided

           TheindefatigableMrs.Sparsit,withaviolentcolduponher,hervoicereducedtoawhisper,andherstatelyframesorackedbycontinualsneezesthatitseemedindangerofdismemberment,gavechasetoherpatronuntilshefoundhiminthemetropolis;andthere,majesticallysweepinginuponhimathishotelinSt.James’sStreet,explodedthecombustibleswithwhichshewascharged,andblewup.Havingexecutedhermissionwithinfiniterelish,thishigh-mindedwomanthenfaintedawayonMr.Bounderby’scoat-collar.

           Mr.Bounderby’sfirstprocedurewastoshakeMrs.Sparsitoff,andleavehertoprogressasshemightthroughvariousstagesofsufferingonthefloor.Henexthadrecoursetotheadministrationofpotentrestoratives,suchasscrewingthepatient’sthumbs,smitingherhands,abundantlywateringherface,andinsertingsaltinhermouth.Whentheseattentionshadrecoveredher(whichtheyspeedilydid),hehustledherintoafasttrainwithoutofferinganyotherrefreshment,andcarriedherbacktoCoketownmoredeadthanalive.

           Regardedasaclassicalruin,Mrs.Sparsitwasaninterestingspectacleonherarrivalatherjourney’send;butconsideredinanyotherlight,theamountofdamageshehadbythattimesustainedwasexcessive,andimpairedherclaimstoadmiration.Utterlyheedlessofthewearandtearofherclothesandconstitution,andadamanttoherpatheticsneezes,Mr.Bounderbyimmediatelycrammedherintoacoach,andboreherofftoStoneLodge.