Тесс з роду д’Ербервілей

Chapter 35

           

           “Angel,Angel!whatdoyoumeanbythatlaugh?”shecriedout.“Doyouknowwhatthisistome?”

           Heshookhishead.

           “Ihavebeenhoping,longing,praying,tomakeyouhappy!Ihavethoughtwhatjoyitwillbetodoit,whatanunworthywifeIshallbeifIdonot!That’swhatIhavefelt,Angel!”

           “Iknowthat.”

           “Ithought,Angel,thatyoulovedmeme,myveryself!IfitisIyoudolove,Ohowcanitbethatyoulookandspeakso?Itfrightensme!Havingbeguntoloveyou,Iloveyouforeverinallchanges,inalldisgraces,becauseyouareyourself.Iasknomore.Thenhowcanyou,Omyownhusband,stoplovingme?”

           “Irepeat,thewomanIhavebeenlovingisnotyou.”

           “Butwho?”

           “Anotherwomaninyourshape.”

           Sheperceivedinhiswordstherealizationofherownapprehensiveforebodinginformertimes.Helookeduponherasaspeciesofimposter;aguiltywomanintheguiseofaninnocentone.Terrorwasuponherwhitefaceasshesawit;hercheekwasflaccid,andhermouthhadalmosttheaspectofaroundlittlehole.Thehorriblesenseofhisviewofhersodeadenedherthatshestaggered;andhesteppedforward,thinkingshewasgoingtofall.

           “Sitdown,sitdown,”hesaidgently.“Youareill;anditisnaturalthatyoushouldbe.”

           Shedidsitdown,withoutknowingwhereshewas,thatstrainedlookstilluponherface,andhereyessuchastomakehisfleshcreep.

           “Idon’tbelongtoyouanymore,then;doI,Angel?”sheaskedhelplessly.“Itisnotme,butanotherwomanlikemethatheloved,hesays.

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