Титан

Undercurrents

           RitaSohlberg,fromtheconventionalpointofview,wasadangerousperson,andyetfromherownpointofviewatthistimeshewasnotsoatalljustdreamyandsweet.

           ApartofthepeculiarityofherstatewasthatSohlberghadbeguntodisappointRitasorely.Truthtotell,hewassufferingfromthatmostterribleofallmaladies,uncertaintyofsoulandinabilitytotrulyfindhimself.Attimeshewasnotsurewhetherhewascutouttobeagreatviolinistoragreatcomposer,ormerelyagreatteacher,whichlasthewasneverwillingreallytoadmit."Iamanarteest,"hewasfondofsaying."Ho,howIsufferfrommytemperament!"Andagain:"Thesedogs!Thesecows!Thesepigs!"Thisofotherpeople.Thequalityofhisplayingwasexceedinglyerratic,eventhoughattimesitattainedtoakindofsubtlety,tenderness,awareness,andcharmwhichbroughthimsomeattention.Asarule,however,itreflectedthechaoticstateofhisownbrain.Hewouldplayviolently,feverishly,withawildpassionatenessofgesturewhichrobbedhimofallabilitytocontrolhisowntechnic.

           "Oh,Harold!"Ritausedtoexclaimatfirst,ecstatically.Latershewasnotsosure.

           Lifeandcharactermustreallygetsomewheretobeadmirable,andHarold,reallyandtruly,didnotseemtobegettinganywhere.Hetaught,stormed,dreamed,wept;butheatehisthreemealsaday,Ritanoticed,andhetookanexcitedinterestattimesinotherwomen.

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