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Chapter 21

           Thentheappearanceofdeathwasdistant,althoughthewishwaseverpresenttomythoughts;andIoftensatforhoursmotionlessandspeechless,wishingforsomemightyrevolutionthatmightburymeandmydestroyerinitsruins.

           Theseasonoftheassizesapproached.Ihadalreadybeenthreemonthsinprison,andalthoughIwasstillweakandincontinualdangerofarelapse,Iwasobligedtotravelnearlyahundredmilestothecountrytownwherethecourtwasheld.Mr.Kirwinchargedhimselfwitheverycareofcollectingwitnessesandarrangingmydefence.Iwassparedthedisgraceofappearingpubliclyasacriminal,asthecasewasnotbroughtbeforethecourtthatdecidesonlifeanddeath.Thegrandjuryrejectedthebill,onitsbeingprovedthatIwasontheOrkneyIslandsatthehourthebodyofmyfriendwasfound;andafortnightaftermyremovalIwasliberatedfromprison.

           Myfatherwasenrapturedonfindingmefreedfromthevexationsofacriminalcharge,thatIwasagainallowedtobreathethefreshatmosphereandpermittedtoreturntomynativecountry.Ididnotparticipateinthesefeelings,fortomethewallsofadungeonorapalacewerealikehateful.Thecupoflifewaspoisonedforever,andalthoughthesunshoneuponme,asuponthehappyandgayofheart,Isawaroundmenothingbutadenseandfrightfuldarkness,penetratedbynolightbuttheglimmeroftwoeyesthatglareduponme.SometimestheyweretheexpressiveeyesofHenry,languishingindeath,thedarkorbsnearlycoveredbythelidsandthelongblacklashesthatfringedthem;sometimesitwasthewatery,cloudedeyesofthemonster,asIfirstsawtheminmychamberatIngolstadt.

           Myfathertriedtoawakeninmethefeelingsofaffection.HetalkedofGeneva,whichIshouldsoonvisit,ofElizabethandErnest;butthesewordsonlydrewdeepgroansfromme.

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