Червоне та чорне

The Shadow of the Guillotine

           MathildewhowasalreadyveryjealousofmadamedeRênal’svisitsandwhohadjustlearnedofherdeparturerealisedthecauseofJulien’sbadtemperandburstintotears.

           Hergriefwasreal;Juliensawthisandwasonlythemoreirritated.Hehadacryingneedofsolitude,andhowwashetogetit?

           EventuallyMathilde,afterhavingtriedtomelthimbyeverypossibleargument,lefthimalone.Butalmostatthesamemoment,Fouquépresentedhimself.

           "Ineedtobealone,"hesaid,tothisfaithfulfriend,andashesawhimhesitate:"Iamcomposingamemorialformypetitionforpardon...onethingmore...domeafavour,andneverspeaktomeaboutdeath.IfIhaveneedofanyespecialservicesonthatday,letmebethefirsttospeaktoyouaboutit."

           WhenJulienhadeventuallyprocuredsolitude,hefoundhimselfmoreprostrateandmorecowardlythanhehadbeenbefore.ThelittleforcewhichthisenfeebledsoulstillpossessedhadallbeenspentinconcealinghisconditionfrommademoiselledelaMole.

           Towardstheeveninghefoundconsolationinthisidea.

           "Ifattheverymomentthismorning,whendeathseemedsouglytome,Ihadbeengivennoticeofmyexecution,thepubliceyewouldhaveactedasaspurtoglory,mydemeanourwouldperhapshavehadacertainstiffnessaboutit,likeanervousfopenteringasalon.Afewpenetratingpeople,ifthereareanyamongsttheseprovincialmighthavemanagedtodivinemyweakness....Butnoonewouldhaveseenit."

           Andhefeltrelievedofpartofhisunhappiness."Iamacowardatthisverymoment,"hesangtohimself,"butnoonewillknowit.

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