Ярмарка тщеславия

“The Girl I Left Behind Me”

           Shehadmasteredthisrudecoarsenature;andhelovedandworshippedherwithallhisfacultiesofregardandadmiration.Inallhislifehehadneverbeensohappy,as,duringthepastfewmonths,hiswifehadmadehim.Allformerdelightsofturf,mess,hunting-field,andgambling-table;allpreviouslovesandcourtshipsofmilliners,opera-dancers,andthelikeeasytriumphsoftheclumsymilitaryAdonis,werequiteinsipidwhencomparedtothelawfulmatrimonialpleasureswhichoflatehehadenjoyed.Shehadknownperpetuallyhowtodiverthim;andhehadfoundhishouseandhersocietyathousandtimesmorepleasantthananyplaceorcompanywhichhehadeverfrequentedfromhischildhooduntilnow.Andhecursedhispastfolliesandextravagances,andbemoanedhisvastoutlyingdebtsaboveall,whichmustremainforeverasobstaclestopreventhiswife’sadvancementintheworld.HehadoftengroanedovertheseinmidnightconversationswithRebecca,althoughasabachelortheyhadnevergivenhimanydisquiet.Hehimselfwasstruckwiththisphenomenon."Hangit,"hewouldsay(orperhapsuseastillstrongerexpressionoutofhissimplevocabulary),"beforeIwasmarriedIdidn’tcarewhatbillsIputmynameto,andsolongasMoseswouldwaitorLevywouldrenewforthreemonths,Ikeptonneverminding.ButsinceI’mmarried,exceptrenewing,ofcourse,IgiveyoumyhonourI’venottouchedabitofstampedpaper."

           Rebeccaalwaysknewhowtoconjureawaythesemoodsofmelancholy.

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