Vauxhall

           IknowthatthetuneIampipingisaverymildone(althoughtherearesometerrificchapterscomingpresently),andmustbegthegood-naturedreadertorememberthatweareonlydiscoursingatpresentaboutastockbroker’sfamilyinRussellSquare,whoaretakingwalks,orluncheon,ordinner,ortalkingandmakingloveaspeopledoincommonlife,andwithoutasinglepassionateandwonderfulincidenttomarktheprogressoftheirloves.TheargumentstandsthusOsborne,inlovewithAmelia,hasaskedanoldfriendtodinnerandtoVauxhallJosSedleyisinlovewithRebecca.Willhemarryher?Thatisthegreatsubjectnowinhand.

           Wemighthavetreatedthissubjectinthegenteel,orintheromantic,orinthefacetiousmanner.SupposewehadlaidthesceneinGrosvenorSquare,withtheverysameadventureswouldnotsomepeoplehavelistened?SupposewehadshownhowLordJosephSedleyfellinlove,andtheMarquisofOsbornebecameattachedtoLadyAmelia,withthefullconsentoftheDuke,hernoblefather:orinsteadofthesupremelygenteel,supposewehadresortedtotheentirelylow,anddescribedwhatwasgoingoninMr.Sedley’skitchenhowblackSambowasinlovewiththecook(asindeedhewas),andhowhefoughtabattlewiththecoachmaninherbehalf;howtheknife-boywascaughtstealingacoldshoulderofmutton,andMissSedley’snewfemmedechambrerefusedtogotobedwithoutawaxcandle;suchincidentsmightbemadetoprovokemuchdelightfullaughter,andbesupposedtorepresentscenesof"life.

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