How Captain Dobbin Bought a Piano

           IfthereisanyexhibitioninallVanityFairwhichSatireandSentimentcanvisitarminarmtogether;whereyoulightonthestrangestcontrastslaughableandtearful:whereyoumaybegentleandpathetic,orsavageandcynicalwithperfectpropriety:itisatoneofthosepublicassemblies,acrowdofwhichareadvertisedeverydayinthelastpageoftheTimesnewspaper,andoverwhichthelateMr.GeorgeRobinsusedtopresidewithsomuchdignity.ThereareveryfewLondonpeople,asIfancy,whohavenotattendedatthesemeetings,andallwithatasteformoralizingmusthavethought,withasensationandinterestnotalittlestartlingandqueer,ofthedaywhentheirturnshallcometoo,andMr.HammerdownwillsellbytheordersofDiogenes’assignees,orwillbeinstructedbytheexecutors,tooffertopubliccompetition,thelibrary,furniture,plate,wardrobe,andchoicecellarofwinesofEpicurusdeceased.

           Evenwiththemostselfishdisposition,theVanityFairian,ashewitnessesthissordidpartoftheobsequiesofadepartedfriend,can’tbutfeelsomesympathiesandregret.MyLordDives’sremainsareinthefamilyvault:thestatuariesarecuttinganinscriptionveraciouslycommemoratinghisvirtues,andthesorrowsofhisheir,whoisdisposingofhisgoods.

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