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           Hewashopelessattheverycoreofhim,andhewantedtobehopeless.Heratherhatedhope.’Uneimmenseespranceatraverslaterre’,hereadsomewhere,andhiscommentwas:’--andit’sdarned-welldrownedeverythingworthhaving.’

           Connieneverreallyunderstoodhim,but,inherway,shelovedhim.Andallthetimeshefeltthereflectionofhishopelessnessinher.Shecouldn’tquite,quiteloveinhopelessness.Andhe,beinghopeless,couldn’teverquiteloveatall.

           Sotheywentonforquiteatime,writing,andmeetingoccasionallyinLondon.Shestillwantedthephysical,sexualthrillshecouldgetwithhimbyherownactivity,hislittleorgasmbeingover.Andhestillwantedtogiveither.Whichwasenoughtokeepthemconnected.

           Andenoughtogiveherasubtlesortofself-assurance,somethingblindandalittlearrogant.Itwasanalmostmechanicalconfidenceinherownpowers,andwentwithagreatcheerfulness.

           ShewasterrificallycheerfulatWragby.AndsheusedallherarousedcheerfulnessandsatisfactiontostimulateClifford,sothathewrotehisbestatthistime,andwasalmosthappyinhisstrangeblindway.HereallyreapedthefruitsofthesensualsatisfactionshegotoutofMichaelis’malepassivityerectinsideher.Butofcourseheneverknewit,andifhehad,hewouldn’thavesaidthankyou!

           Yetwhenthosedaysofhergrandjoyfulcheerfulnessandstimulusweregone,quitegone,andshewasdepressedandirritable,howCliffordlongedforthemagain!Perhapsifhe’dknownhemightevenhavewishedtogetherandMichaelistogetheragain.