Chapter 3

           Conniewasaware,however,ofagrowingrestlessness.Outofherdisconnexion,arestlessnesswastakingpossessionofherlikemadness.Ittwitchedherlimbswhenshedidn’twanttotwitchthem,itjerkedherspinewhenshedidn’twanttojerkuprightbutpreferredtorestcomfortably.Itthrilledinsideherbody,inherwomb,somewhere,tillshefeltshemustjumpintowaterandswimtogetawayfromit;amadrestlessness.Itmadeherheartbeatviolentlyfornoreason.Andshewasgettingthinner.

           Itwasjustrestlessness.Shewouldrushoffacrossthepark,abandonClifford,andlieproneinthebracken.Togetawayfromthehouse...shemustgetawayfromthehouseandeverybody.Theworkwasheronerefuge,hersanctuary.

           Butitwasnotreallyarefuge,asanctuary,becauseshehadnoconnexionwithit.Itwasonlyaplacewhereshecouldgetawayfromtherest.Sheneverreallytouchedthespiritofthewooditself...ifithadanysuchnonsensicalthing.

           Vaguelysheknewherselfthatshewasgoingtopiecesinsomeway.Vaguelysheknewshewasoutofconnexion:shehadlosttouchwiththesubstantialandvitalworld.OnlyCliffordandhisbooks,whichdidnotexist...whichhadnothinginthem!Voidtovoid.Vaguelysheknew.Butitwaslikebeatingherheadagainstastone.

           Herfatherwarnedheragain:’Whydon’tyougetyourselfabeau,Connie?Doyouallthegoodintheworld.’

           ThatwinterMichaeliscameforafewdays.HewasayoungIrishmanwhohadalreadymadealargefortunebyhisplaysinAmerica.