Любовник леди Чаттерлей
Chapter 18
’It’sthecourageofyourowntenderness,that’swhatitis:likewhenyouputyourhandonmytailandsayI’vegotaprettytail.’
Thegrincameflickeringonhisface.
’That!’hesaid.
Thenhesatthinking.
’Ay!’hesaid.’You’reright.It’sthatreally.It’sthatallthewaythrough.Iknewitwiththemen.Ihadtobeintouchwiththem,physically,andnotgobackonit.Ihadtobebodilyawareofthemandabittendertothem,evenifIputemthroughhell.It’saquestionofawareness,asBuddhasaid.Butevenhefoughtshyofthebodilyawareness,andthatnaturalphysicaltenderness,whichisthebest,evenbetweenmen;inapropermanlyway.Makes’emreallymanly,notsomonkeyish.Ay!it’stenderness,really;it’scunt-awareness.Sexisreallyonlytouch,theclosestofalltouch.Andit’stouchwe’reafraidof.We’reonlyhalf-conscious,andhalfalive.We’vegottocomealiveandaware.EspeciallytheEnglishhavegottogetintotouchwithoneanother,abitdelicateandabittender.It’sourcryingneed.’
Shelookedathim.
’Thenwhyareyouafraidofme?’shesaid.
Helookedatheralongtimebeforeheanswered.
’It’sthemoney,really,andtheposition.It’stheworldinyou.’
’Butisn’ttheretendernessinme?’shesaidwistfully.
Helookeddownather,withdarkened,abstracteyes.
’Ay!Itcomesan’goes,likeinme.’
’Butcan’tyoutrustitbetweenyouandme?’sheasked,gazinganxiouslyathim.
Shesawhisfaceallsofteningdown,losingitsarmour.’Maybe!’hesaid.Theywerebothsilent.
