Преступление и наказание

Chapter 8

           Asheturnedintothestreetherememberedthathehadnotsaidgood-byetoSonia,thathehadleftherinthemiddleoftheroominhergreenshawl,notdaringtostirafterhehadshoutedather,andhestoppedshortforamoment.Atthesameinstant,anotherthoughtdawneduponhim,asthoughithadbeenlyinginwaittostrikehimthen.

           “Why,withwhatobjectdidIgotoherjustnow?Itoldheronbusiness;onwhatbusiness?Ihadnosortofbusiness!TotellherIwasgoing;butwherewastheneed?DoIloveher?No,no,Idroveherawayjustnowlikeadog.DidIwanthercrosses?Oh,howlowI’vesunk!No,Iwantedhertears,Iwantedtoseeherterror,toseehowherheartached!Ihadtohavesomethingtoclingto,somethingtodelayme,somefriendlyfacetosee!AndIdaredtobelieveinmyself,todreamofwhatIwoulddo!Iamabeggarlycontemptiblewretch,contemptible!”

           Hewalkedalongthecanalbank,andhehadnotmuchfurthertogo.ButonreachingthebridgehestoppedandturningoutofhiswayalongitwenttotheHayMarket.

           Helookedeagerlytorightandleft,gazedintentlyateveryobjectandcouldnotfixhisattentiononanything;everythingslippedaway.“Inanotherweek,anothermonthIshallbedriveninaprisonvanoverthisbridge,howshallIlookatthecanalthen?Ishouldliketorememberthis!”slippedintohismind.

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