Преступление и наказание

Chapter 4

           Nonsense!Isimplydidit;Ididthemurderformyself,formyselfalone,andwhetherIbecameabenefactortoothers,orspentmylifelikeaspidercatchingmeninmywebandsuckingthelifeoutofmen,Icouldn’thavecaredatthatmoment....AnditwasnotthemoneyIwanted,Sonia,whenIdidit.ItwasnotsomuchthemoneyIwanted,butsomethingelse....Iknowitallnow....Understandme!PerhapsIshouldneverhavecommittedamurderagain.Iwantedtofindoutsomethingelse;itwassomethingelseledmeon.IwantedtofindoutthenandquicklywhetherIwasalouselikeeverybodyelseoraman.WhetherIcanstepoverbarriersornot,whetherIdarestooptopickupornot,whetherIamatremblingcreatureorwhetherIhavetheright...”

           “Tokill?Havetherighttokill?”Soniaclaspedherhands.

           “Ach,Sonia!”hecriedirritablyandseemedabouttomakesomeretort,butwascontemptuouslysilent.“Don’tinterruptme,Sonia.Iwanttoproveonethingonly,thatthedevilledmeonthenandhehasshownmesincethatIhadnottherighttotakethatpath,becauseIamjustsuchalouseasalltherest.HewasmockingmeandhereI’vecometoyounow!Welcomeyourguest!IfIwerenotalouse,shouldIhavecometoyou?Listen:whenIwentthentotheoldwoman’sIonlywenttotry....

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