Преступление и наказание

Chapter 4

           EvenifIhadlingeredonlikethat,intenortwelveyearsImight(withluck)hopetobesomesortofteacherorclerkwithasalaryofathousandroubles”(herepeateditasthoughitwerealesson)“andbythattimemymotherwouldbewornoutwithgriefandanxietyandIcouldnotsucceedinkeepingherincomfortwhilemysister...well,mysistermightwellhavefaredworse!Andit’sahardthingtopasseverythingbyallone’slife,toturnone’sbackuponeverything,toforgetone’smotheranddecorouslyaccepttheinsultsinflictedonone’ssister.Whyshouldone?Whenonehasburiedthemtoburdenoneselfwithotherswifeandchildrenandtoleavethemagainwithoutafarthing?SoIresolvedtogainpossessionoftheoldwoman’smoneyandtouseitformyfirstyearswithoutworryingmymother,tokeepmyselfattheuniversityandforalittlewhileafterleavingitandtodothisallonabroad,thoroughscale,soastobuildupacompletelynewcareerandenteruponanewlifeofindependence....Well...that’sall....Well,ofcourseinkillingtheoldwomanIdidwrong....Well,that’senough.”

           Hestruggledtotheendofhisspeechinexhaustionandlethisheadsink.

           “Oh,that’snotit,that’snotit,”Soniacriedindistress.“Howcouldone...no,that’snotright,notright.”

           “Youseeyourselfthatit’snotright.ButI’vespokentruly,it’sthetruth.”

           “Asthoughthatcouldbethetruth!GoodGod!”

           “I’veonlykilledalouse,Sonia,auseless,loathsome,harmfulcreature.

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