Преступление и наказание

Chapter 4

           Evenhisvoicewassuddenlyweak.“ItoldyouyesterdaythatIwasnotcomingtoaskforgivenessandalmostthefirstthingI’vesaidistoaskforgiveness....IsaidthataboutLuzhinandProvidenceformyownsake.Iwasaskingforgiveness,Sonia....”

           Hetriedtosmile,buttherewassomethinghelplessandincompleteinhispalesmile.Hebowedhisheadandhidhisfaceinhishands.

           Andsuddenlyastrange,surprisingsensationofasortofbitterhatredforSoniapassedthroughhisheart.Asitwerewonderingandfrightenedofthissensation,heraisedhisheadandlookedintentlyather;buthemetheruneasyandpainfullyanxiouseyesfixedonhim;therewasloveinthem;hishatredvanishedlikeaphantom.Itwasnottherealfeeling;hehadtakentheonefeelingfortheother.Itonlymeantthatthatminutehadcome.

           Hehidhisfaceinhishandsagainandbowedhishead.Suddenlyheturnedpale,gotupfromhischair,lookedatSonia,andwithoututteringawordsatdownmechanicallyonherbed.

           Hissensationsthatmomentwereterriblylikethemomentwhenhehadstoodovertheoldwomanwiththeaxeinhishandandfeltthat“hemustnotloseanotherminute.”

           “What’sthematter?”askedSonia,dreadfullyfrightened.

           Hecouldnotutteraword.Thiswasnotatall,notatallthewayhehadintendedto“tell”andhedidnotunderstandwhatwashappeningtohimnow.Shewentuptohim,softly,satdownonthebedbesidehimandwaited,nottakinghereyesoffhim.Herheartthrobbedandsank.

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