Джэйн Эйр

Chapter XXXVII

           WhenIhearit,itcarriesmebackayear.Iforgetthatyouhaveformedanewtie.ButIamnotafoolgo" 

           "WheremustIgo,sir?" 

           "Yourownwaywiththehusbandyouhavechosen." 

           "Whoisthat?" 

           "YouknowthisSt.JohnRivers." 

           "Heisnotmyhusband,noreverwillbe.Hedoesnotloveme:Idonotlovehim. Heloves(ashecanlove,andthatisnotasyoulove)abeautifulyoungladycalledRosamond.HewantedtomarrymeonlybecausehethoughtIshouldmakeasuitablemissionary’swife,whichshewouldnothavedone. Heisgoodandgreat,butsevere;and,forme,coldasaniceberg.Heisnotlikeyou,sir:Iamnothappyathisside,nornearhim,norwithhim.Hehasnoindulgenceformenofondness.Heseesnothingattractiveinme;notevenyouthonlyafewusefulmentalpoints.ThenImustleaveyou,sir,togotohim?" 

           Ishudderedinvoluntarily,andclunginstinctivelyclosertomyblindbutbelovedmaster.Hesmiled. 

           "What,Jane!Isthistrue?IssuchreallythestateofmattersbetweenyouandRivers?" 

           "Absolutely,sir!Oh,youneednotbejealous!Iwantedtoteaseyoualittletomakeyoulesssad:Ithoughtangerwouldbebetterthangrief. Butifyouwishmetoloveyou,couldyoubutseehowmuchIdoloveyou,youwouldbeproudandcontent. Allmyheartisyours,sir:itbelongstoyou;andwithyouitwouldremain,werefatetoexiletherestofmefromyourpresenceforever." 

           Again,ashekissedme,painfulthoughtsdarkenedhisaspect. 

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