Джэйн Эйр

Chapter XXXIV

           Iwroteagain:therewasachanceofmyfirstletterhavingmissed. Renewedhopefollowedrenewedeffort:itshoneliketheformerforsomeweeks,then,likeit,itfaded,flickered:notaline,notawordreachedme. Whenhalfayearwastedinvainexpectancy,myhopediedout,andthenIfeltdarkindeed. 

           Afinespringshoneroundme,whichIcouldnotenjoy.Summerapproached; Dianatriedtocheerme:shesaidIlookedill,andwishedtoaccompanymetothesea-side. ThisSt.Johnopposed;hesaidIdidnotwantdissipation,Iwantedemployment;mypresentlifewastoopurposeless,Irequiredanaim; and,Isuppose,bywayofsupplyingdeficiencies,heprolongedstillfurthermylessonsinHindostanee,andgrewmoreurgentinrequiringtheiraccomplishment:andI,likeafool,neverthoughtofresistinghimIcouldnotresisthim. 

           OnedayIhadcometomystudiesinlowerspiritsthanusual;theebbwasoccasionedbyapoignantlyfeltdisappointment. Hannahhadtoldmeinthemorningtherewasaletterforme,andwhenIwentdowntotakeit,almostcertainthatthelong-lookedfortidingswerevouchsafedmeatlast,IfoundonlyanunimportantnotefromMr.Briggsonbusiness. Thebittercheckhadwrungfrommesometears;andnow,asIsatporingoverthecrabbedcharactersandflourishingtropesofanIndianscribe,myeyesfilledagain. 

           St.Johncalledmetohissidetoread;inattemptingtodothismyvoicefailedme:wordswerelostinsobs. 

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