Портрет Дориана Грея
Chapter 10
Helovedtokneeldownonthecoldmarblepavement,andwatchthepriest,inhisstifffloweredvestment,slowlyandwithwhitehandsmovingasidetheveilofthetabernacle, orraisingaloftthejewelledlantern-shapedmonstrancewiththatpallidwaferthatattimes,onewouldfainthink,isindeedthe"paniscælestis,"thebreadofangels, or,robedinthegarmentsofthePassionofChrist,breakingtheHostintothechalice,andsmitinghisbreastforhissins. Thefumingcensers,thatthegraveboys,intheirlaceandscarlet,tossedintotheairlikegreatgiltflowers,hadtheirsubtlefascinationforhim. Ashepassedout,heusedtolookwithwonderattheblackconfessionals,andlongtositinthedimshadowofoneofthem andlistentomenandwomenwhisperingthroughtheworngratingthetruestoryoftheirlives.
Butheneverfellintotheerrorofarrestinghisintellectualdevelopmentbyanyformalacceptanceofcreedorsystem,orofmistaking, forahouseinwhichtolive,aninnthatisbutsuitableforthesojournofanight, orforafewhoursofanightinwhichtherearenostarsandthemoonisintravail. Mysticism,withitsmarvellouspowerofmakingcommonthingsstrangetous,andthesubtleantinomianismthatalwaysseemstoaccompanyit,movedhimforaseason; andforaseasonheinclinedtothematerialisticdoctrinesoftheDarwinismusmovementinGermany,andfoundacuriouspleasureintracingthethoughtsandpassionsofmentosomepearlycellinthebrain, orsomewhitenerveinthebody,delightingintheconceptionoftheabsolutedependenceofthespiritoncertainphysicalconditions,morbidorhealthy,normalordiseased. Yet,ashasbeensaidofhimbefore,notheoryoflifeseemedtohimtobeofanyimportancecomparedwithlifeitself. Hefeltkeenlyconsciousofhowbarrenallintellectualspeculationiswhenseparatedfromactionandexperiment. Heknewthatthesenses,nolessthanthesoul,havetheirspiritualmysteriestoreveal.