Портрет Дориана Грея
Chapter 6
Shehadbeenshallowandunworthy. And,yet,afeelingofinfiniteregretcameoverhim,ashethoughtofherlyingathisfeetsobbinglikealittlechild. Herememberedwithwhatcallousnesshehadwatchedher. Whyhadhebeenmadelikethat? Whyhadsuchasoulbeengiventohim? Buthehadsufferedalso. Duringthethreeterriblehoursthattheplayhadlasted,hehadlivedcenturiesofpain,æonuponæonoftorture. Hislifewaswellworthhers. Shehadmarredhimforamoment,ifhehadwoundedherforanage. Besides,womenwerebettersuitedtobearsorrowthanmen. Theylivedontheiremotions. Theyonlythoughtoftheiremotions. Whentheytooklovers,itwasmerelytohavesomeonewithwhomtheycouldhavescenes. LordHenryhadtoldhimthat,andLordHenryknewwhatwomenwere. WhyshouldhetroubleaboutSibylVane? Shewasnothingtohimnow.
Butthepicture? Whatwashetosayofthat? Itheldthesecretofhislife,andtoldhisstory. Ithadtaughthimtolovehisownbeauty. Woulditteachhimtoloathehisownsoul? Wouldheeverlookatitagain?
No;itwasmerelyanillusionwroughtonthetroubledsenses. Thehorriblenightthathehadpassedhadleftphantomsbehindit. Suddenlytherehadfallenuponhisbrainthattinyscarletspeckthatmakesmenmad. Thepicturehadnotchanged. Itwasfollytothinkso.
Yetitwaswatchinghim,withitsbeautifulmarredfaceanditscruelsmile. Itsbrighthairgleamedintheearlysunlight. Itsblueeyesmethisown. Asenseofinfinitepity,notforhimself,butforthepaintedimageofhimself,cameoverhim. Ithadalteredalready,andwouldaltermore. Itsgoldwouldwitherintogrey. Itsredandwhiteroseswoulddie. Foreverysinthathecommitted,astainwouldfleckandwreckitsfairness. Buthewouldnotsin.